Leaving

I am officially en route to my destination. I'm feeling pretty excited, and nauseous... and slightly sad. I will miss caretaker and her mini human. They took very good care of me, I'll miss the little one's smile. Not that I would admit this to anyone. I am a genius after all! I don't need feelings, I have intelligence!

Through this "facebook" that I mentioned in my last post, I have found out my human slave person has a mate. He may be the one to greet me tomorrow when I arrive, so I have prepared a list of instructions for him.

Professor Soapy Gumsalot’s Instruction Guide

1. Open the door and sign for me.

2. Bring me upstairs in my new room.

3. Open me up.  I’ve been in this box for like a day now. I don’t have eyelids, so if you could avoid flash photography that would be appreciated.

4. Send a text/picture message to my human slave person (who calls herself mommy. She’s worried about my flight.) Wait about half an hour so that I’m used to the room's temperature.

5. Keep me in my bag/water bottle but place me gently (seriously dude, gently. I don’t like strong water flows. I’ll drop my gills and morph!)  in the bucket. After about 20 – 30 minutes, open the bag and let the water out to mix with the bucket water. I’ll swim out when I’m ready.

6. Observe and be amazed by my sheer brilliance and handsomeness.

7. After about 30 minutes of that, you can add some more tank water to my bucket. Use the container that was left out. Do it slowly. Again, I don’t like water currents. I’ll appreciate the extra swimming space.

8. I’m kinda starved from my long trip, so some bloodworms would be awesome. Depending on what time of day I get there, human slave will do this. She has a “work lunch break”, so I am assuming this means working to bring me a delicious lunch.

9. If the thing that is called Dog wants to smell my delicious aroma that is ok, but don’t let her drink my home.

Gills crossed that I arrive safely.